The Brain

"Who you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying."

​Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The Idea

More of our life (than we can possibly imagine) is spent on auto-pilot. We are often reacting in response to subconscious cues, sounds, and sights. Built-in biases, differences in cognitive style, early childhood experiences and many other factors contribute to a situation in which much of what we imagine is deliberate behavior, shared reality, etcetera, are in fact things that our subconscious is handing us against our will.

Impact of the Subconscious on Leadership

 

Awareness of and at least partial mastery of this reality can make the difference between success and failure.

  • Studies show that people who simply imagine themselves being effective before starting a task are in fact more effective. And are perceived by others to be more effective.

  • People who think about the ways in which they empathize with, like, and view as real and caring the person they are about to interact with are perceived by that person as more powerful, engaging and persuasive than people who simply launch into conversation.

  • ​Basketball students who think about shooting baskets improve almost as much as students who actually practice shooting baskets.

  • Teachers told that a particular student will excel unconsciously teach differently (and get better results) than teachers who are told that a student will likely under-perform. Regardless of the actual capacity of the student.

  • In a meeting, a person who advises caution or skepticism is subconsciously viewed as "smarter" than one who advocates for action.

  • If you find a dollar on the ground and then are asked how your life is going, you will report more long-term happiness than the person next to you who did not find the dollar.

  • How you position your eyes, hands, head and body during conversation can affect how much others trust you.

  • Aligning the pacing and pitch and volume of your voice with your conversation partner encourages them to trust you more.

  • Degree of trust and generosity a person exhibits towards others is directly correlated with the amount of oxytocin in the brain.

There are ten thousand more examples of the impact that the subconscious has on leadership.

We call the practices and habits that can improve your mastery in this area "Self-Tuning."

See the deck from the Batchery Session on self-tuning and triggers.

The man who is angry at the right things, with the right people, and as he ought, when he ought, and as long as he ought, is to be praised.

— Aristotle; Nichomachean Ethics

Mastering the Unconscious

 

Some Ways to Master the Unconscious (shortest version possible).

First, figure out your triggers. Whatever action provokes an emotional reaction in you in a professional or personal setting (being talked over, someone walking in late, someone exhibiting tension or what looks to you like anger, etc.) Learn to notice when you are triggered, which is easy. If you find yourself:

  • ​feeling tense

  • going quiet

  • going blank

  • feeling angry

  • faster heartbeat

you are triggered.

Then, stop. Create space between the trigger (I was just interrupted, again!) and any action you might be tempted to take. Do ANYTHING but respond out of conscious control.

  • "I need time to think about this. I can see you're upset and I want to respond when I can think more clearly.

Then, develop a response that takes advantage of all your skills in compassion, patience, clarity of communication, conflict resolution, relationship-building.

​There's more, but knowing the above is enough, for now.

"It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently."

— Warren Buffet